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Chloe Sevigny - Self Service by Terry Richardson, Spring 2007
Chloe’s home is fantastic. This room delights me!
Another day
Yesterday was such a crap day. And today, as if yesterday was someone else’s day, brightened up. Life is so liveable with this in mind.
mindfuck
usually happens inside my own head. Nothing surprises you as much as some things you just realize at desperate times. People would call that epiphanies, but these days, that word gets thrown around too much and too carelessly. So I refuse to think that what my head chooses to recognize “an epiphany”. The latest one that I experienced happened right after I felt deeply depressed because I thought I had fucked it up with people again. I felt like I was trapped under the compressing machine and that I would slowly be crushed to death by my own thoughts and paranoia. The major killer for me was that I always fuck up the same way. How I ruin things always happens exactly the same way and yet I don’t change.
Anyways, this time what I realized was that people never left me. I always left them. I never did anything that catastrophic, but in my warped mind, it was every bit good reason for people to leave me. But they never did. I always left first.
So now what.
My mother is a dentist. Her profession has always been a subject of interest to me which she often mistook for mockery. Our personalities are total opposites. She is very serious. I am very serious about making fun of her (not her profession). My interest in dentistry is an attempt to have…
I love my friend. This is a writing in one of its best forms.
tell me is there anything good in my heart anything other than jealousy
YES
Generating the inner heat, to burn away subtle obscurations and cultivate bliss
